Dear Rain: Bells Jingle

Pandas are cute, Pandas are in Sichuan, I went to go see Pandas. Here is a Chinese 'joke' about Pandas that, like all Chinese 'jokes', translates so poorly and so unfunnily.

"I know the Panda's wish, actually he has two wishes. The first is to get rid of the black rings around his eyes, the second is to take a color picture"

A real joke, however, is yours truly at the Panda conservatory. A flock of school girls surrounded me, exclaiming "Foreigner! Foreigner!". One was heard to remark "We can watch him instead of the Pandas, because it is more interesting, and it is free". There you have it.

Sometimes I feel like an old man with a comb-over, and it is always windy. Because just like old men with comb-overs on a windy day, I know that I am exposed, and I know people wouldn't stare if they only knew how. But mostly, old men with comb-overs know that they are old men with comb-overs, and they clearly can't be bothered.

Sometimes when I take the bus, I feel like a guy who has farted in an elevator. You've got to live with me at least until the next bus stop, or at least until we reach the lobby. I may have a comb-over, and you may be staring at it's unkemptness, but I can make you feel uncomfortable too.

Merry Christmas